The Top 10 Tips for Communicating with
Children
by: Dr. Clare Albright
Most people have more training
before they receive their driver's license than before they
become a parent. Educating yourself on how to
communicate effectively with your child can be the key to
achieving your parenting goals. If you do not have children of
your own, these 10 tips can help you whenever you are around
children.
Draw children out to speak
about the things on their minds.
You can 'prime the pump' by talking with them about their
favorite foods, toys, movies, video games, etc.
Verbally reflect the emotions of a child before giving in to
your need to teach them something.
Parents are constantly making the error of educating their
child when their child expresses pain. "I hate my nose" is
often responded to with, "you have a perfectly good nose" and
the child is left to feel all alone with what could become an
enormous problem for them in years to come.
Teach your child to wait instead of interrupting your
conversations.
One technique is to teach your children to lightly touch your
arm and to wait peacefully and quietly to be acknowledged by
you. Children who interrupt miss a chance to learn to control
their impulses and can upset the flow of an adult's
conversation.
Play little games whenever you see children.
For example, you could put something such as a coin in a hand
behind your back and ask the child to guess which hand it is
in. This is a way to build a strong connection with a child and
make a child feel honored.
Lower yourself physically to a child's level by sitting down,
bending down, or sitting on the floor.
It may have been months since any adult has joined the child on
their own level.
Hold and play with a child's toys or trinkets.
Play is the language of a child. If you stop for even thirty
seconds to draw a picture alongside of a child who is coloring,
you could become one of their heroes.
Tell short stories to children.
Make the stories up or pull them from your own childhood.
Stories can be used to build a connection, to teach a lesson,
or just to leave a child feeling better than when the
conversation began.
Follow up on the promises that you make to children with
action.
Children are usually more hurt than adults by broken promises.
Ironically, many people treat their promises to children as
less important than their promises to adults.
Sacrifice some of your time to interact with children and to
focus on them 100%.
Most adults do not interact with children who are present
because the children are not able to meet their needs the way
that an adult can. Five minutes invested in the life of a child
will pay dividends that an hour invested in the life of an
adult may not.
Master the art of Socratic questioning. This means that instead
of expressing facts or lecturing that you ask a question to
stimulate the child's own reasoning process. Socratic
questioning opens up a place in a person's mind for the answer
to be remembered. For example, you could ask, "How do you think
we could take better care of the puppy?" instead of telling
your child what to do.
About The Author
This piece was written by Dr. Clare Albright, Psychologist and
Parenting Coach, and author of "100 Tips for Parents of Two
Year Olds", which can be downloaded for only $5.77 from
www.ParentsOfTwoYearOlds.com
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